The thing about the Joneses

Jessica White.

We’ve all be been there, cramped in economy: arms in, head up, trying to take up as little space and breathing room as possible. To get to our small seat in aisle back of beyond, we had to walk through first-class first. Shuffling past the chosen ones languishing in their spacious loungers, legs outstretched in a display of relaxation and dominion. What we wouldn’t give, right?

This is just one illustration of the displays of affluence which surround us every day. From the Porsche paused next to us at the stop street to the recently renovated house across the road, we are routinely confronted with examples of how much more wealthy and successful everyone else is.

At least that’s how it feels. We don’t feel the weight of the car instalments or the building bond. We feel the full weight of all those dreams of the highlife that haven’t come true bearing down on us.

What we forget in these moments is the seemingly nuanced but fundamental distinction between wealth and affluence; displays of what money and/or credit can buy versus expressions of what one can judiciously afford.

We also forget that we choose how we measure success, both ours and others. Money is not an absolute measure of wealth. (Let that sink in for a moment.) Rather it is a resource to attain financial freedom.

We are all different. Therefore our metrics for wealth and success differ as well. All too often we are drawn into cultural norms of what society thinks success should look like. It’s understandable, peer pressure has a subtle and powerful sway. We need to be comfortable with measuring ourselves against our own metrics and goals in order to feel satisfied.

“Would you rather?”

When you were younger did you ever play “would you rather?” For the uninitiated, it’s a game where you challenge each other to choose the lesser of two hypothetical evils: would you rather eat a jar of mayonnaise or drink a glass of vinegar, for example.

When experiencing “Joneses envy” and accompanying feelings of failure, play a couple of rounds of “would you rather” with yourself or your partner:

• Would you rather live in a bigger home or be able to save every month?
• Would you rather drive a fancy car or send your children to the school of your choice?
• Would you rather fly first-class or have more spending money when you land?

You see - excluding a small minority - the thing about the Joneses in first-class is that they likely can’t well afford to be there. We live in a society of easy credit and low savings. According to the Reserve Bank, South Africa has one of the world’s worst savings rates, sitting at just 15.4% of GDP in 2015. This is part of the reason why just 6% of retirees in South Africa are financially independent in retirement.

Would you rather live in a big house and drive a big car or be financially independent in later life?